Train Up A Child (Dr. Muthoni Omukhango with Dr. Pamela Kariba Muriungi, Kenya)

Did I ever tell you about that time we went to Charity’s house, played with her kids, and ate lunch there when I was six? Oh, it’s a classic tale.

I call it: Train Up A Child.

You see, my parents had a rule. Not a guideline or a suggestion. A rule. We were never to pop into people’s houses uninvited. Apparently, this was “good manners.” To us, it felt like prison. My big sister Dee, little sister Kainos, and I thought they were just plain mean.

So one day, when Dad was at work and Mom had gone to the shopping centre two hours away, we decided this was our chance. Charity’s house was just across the road, practically calling our names. What could possibly go wrong?

We played like little wildlings, had the time of our lives, and even managed to “graciously inconvenience” Charity’s family into sharing their lunch with us. It was delicious, by the way. Then, as if we were master spies, we scurried back home, untouched lunches waiting on the table, and waited for Mom’s return.

When Mom came back, we had our story rehearsed. She asked why our lunch plates were still full, and we casually said, “We’re not hungry yet. We were just playing and doing our homework.” (We even added an innocent face for good measure).

But then she dropped the bombshell: “Charity told me you were at her house today.”

How? How do parents always know when you’ve been mischievous? Is it the Holy Spirit? CCTV? A spy pigeon?

The shock hit us like cold water. My jaw almost unhinged. Dee froze mid-blink. Kainos looked like she might pass out. Charity betrayed us.

Mom, calm but menacing, said the words that still haunt my nightmares:
“Wait for your dad to come back from work. He’ll deal with you.”

And just like that, our carefree lives were over. Dad wasn’t due home for another three days. Three. Whole. Days. Do you know what it’s like to live under the weight of impending doom for that long? Every meal tasted like cardboard. Every bedtime felt like the last.

When Dad finally came home over the weekend, we didn’t run to the door to meet him like usual. Normally, he brought gifts, and we’d be all over him. Not this time. He came in holding a bag of goodies, and I remember thinking, Those aren’t for us. They’re for the obedient children we’ll never be again.

The spanking session was a family affair. Mom got us first with her trusty mwiko. Then Dad stepped in with his legendary pinches. Then Mom came back for round two. If we weren’t crying, we were dodging. It was like a relay race, but instead of batons, they passed on the punishment.

From that day forward, unannounced visits were permanently erased from our behaviour. Lesson learned. Once. For life.

And to this day, if someone suggests a spontaneous drop-in, I instinctively ‘check’ my back for Mom’s mwiko and Dad’s pinching fingers. Charity can keep her lunch.

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Why It’s Important to Teach Your Kids Not to Pop into Homes Unannounced

As parents, we love our kids’ curiosity and sense of adventure, but let’s face it—letting them pop into someone’s house unannounced is a recipe for awkwardness, trouble, and sometimes, a stern call from the neighbour. Here’s why you need to set firm boundaries:

1. You Never Know What They’ll Walk Into

Some homes may have a horror movie playing, or worse, a soap opera with cringe-worthy kissing scenes that you’ll have to “explain” later. Let’s not even get started on homes with adults who love yelling at football games. Your child will come back either traumatized or shouting “GOOOOAL!” for no reason.

2. Not All Homes Are Child-Safe

That sweet family down the street? They could have a “friendly” dog that sees your child as a chew toy. Or maybe their house is booby-trapped with Legos and electrical cords. One wrong move and your child could come home limping—or worse, needing stitches.

3. It’s an Inconvenience to Others

As much as we love hospitality, not everyone is thrilled when your child pops in saying, “I’m hungry!” What if they’re having a bad day or don’t have enough food to share? Now, they’re sacrificing their last slice of cake while your child eats with no clue they’ve just derailed someone’s peaceful afternoon.

4. Your Child Might Catch People Off-Guard

Let’s be real—people do weird things in their own homes. Uncle Joe might be walking around shirtless, Aunt Mary could be deep into her mud mask routine, or the family might be mid-heated argument about who left the fridge open. Your child doesn’t need to witness all that.

5. Word Always Gets Back to You

Here’s the thing: your kids think they’re slick, but the neighbourhood spy network is undefeated. Whether it’s the host calling to “thank you” for sending your child over or the nosy neighbour sharing updates, you’ll know—and now you’ll have to deal with it.

6. Not Everyone Likes Kids

This is a hard truth, but some people don’t find children adorable—they find them noisy, messy, and exhausting. Your child’s unannounced visit might not feel like a “cute surprise” but an invasion of their quiet space.

7. Surprise Visits Can Turn Into Free Labour

If your child shows up uninvited, they might end up peeling potatoes, sweeping the floor, or babysitting a cranky toddler. What starts as an innocent visit might end with your child wishing they’d stayed home.

8. Unannounced Visits Can Burn Bridges

When kids overstay their welcome, they don’t realize they’re draining the host’s energy. By the time they leave, the host is too tired to invite them back—ever. Teaching your child boundaries ensures they stay in everyone’s good books.

9. It Teaches Manners and Responsibility

Kids who learn to respect others’ space grow up understanding boundaries. It’s not just about avoiding awkward situations; it’s about raising considerate humans who know how to interact respectfully.

So, parents, save yourself the headache and the mwiko sessions. Teach your kids that popping into homes unannounced is a no-go. Not only will you save your neighbours’ peace of mind, but you’ll also spare yourself the awkward “We’re so sorry about that” conversations. Boundaries today, blessings tomorrow!

Over the years, I’ve come to treasure the lesson of “don’t pop into homes unannounced” so much that I’ve tried my best to pass it down to my kids. In our home, we call it “check the weather.”

Common sense dictates that you check the weather before stepping outside. If it’s raining, you grab an umbrella and bundle up. If it’s sunny, you leave the raincoat behind and break out the sunglasses. Simple, right? The same principle applies to relationships and social situations—it’s called emotional intelligence (EI).

Emotional intelligence is like your internal weather app. It helps you read the room, gauge the mood, and decide whether it’s time to storm in or quietly retreat. Here’s how it works:

Know When to Keep Quiet
Sometimes, people just want a little peace. They’re in their “cloudy and gloomy” phase, and the last thing they need is your sunny chatter about how you beat your high score on Candy Crush. EI teaches you to sense the storm and save the small talk for a better time.
Know When to Be Chatty
Other times, folks need a bit of sunshine—someone to brighten their day. EI helps you notice when someone is feeling down and gently invites you to share a laugh or a story, like how your kid spilled juice on your boss’s white couch. (Yes, it’s funny now. Sort of.)
Know When to Stay
There are moments when people genuinely need your presence. Maybe their metaphorical “weather” is a tornado of stress, and you’re the calm breeze they’ve been waiting for. EI gives you the wisdom to stick around and be a comfort.
Know When to Leave
Let’s face it, not every visit is welcomed with open arms. If the “forecast” is showing thunderous glares and stormy sighs, it’s time to pack up and leave before you get caught in the downpour.

Teaching kids to “check the weather” is like giving them a lifelong survival kit for relationships. It’s about knowing how to read people’s emotional atmospheres and act accordingly. Some days, you’ll bring sunshine; other days, you’ll carry an umbrella for someone else. And occasionally, you’ll learn it’s best to stay indoors altogether.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about avoiding awkward situations; it’s about building meaningful connections. And trust me, a child who learns to check the weather won’t just save themselves from uncomfortable visits—they’ll grow up to be the kind of person everyone welcomes with open arms, rain or shine.

So, what book is in my hands today? Mentoring Your Children by Dr. Pamela Kariba Muriungi.

Now, if you’ve read the story about my kids popping into Charity’s house unannounced, you’ll know that parenting is not for the faint-hearted. It’s a full-time job, complete with unexpected plot twists, dramatic moments, and lessons you’ll never stop teaching. Dr. Muriungi understands this, and her book is like having a parenting manual—because, let’s face it, kids don’t come with one, and sometimes we’re just winging it and praying for the best.

Parenting today feels like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle—on a tightrope. The world has changed drastically, and with it, so have the challenges. Yet, Dr. Muriungi reminds us that some parenting principles are timeless. Her book gives practical, stable approaches that worked back in the day (yes, even during mwiko-spanking eras) and still hold true in this fast-paced, tech-savvy world.

Here’s what you’ll find inside:

Parenting Your Child’s Heart: Because if you don’t, someone else (or TikTok) will.
How the Social Environment Impacts Your Child’s Development: Hint: this is where the “check the weather” lesson comes in handy.
Being a Role Model to Your Kids: That’s right—kids learn more from watching you than listening to your motivational speeches (especially when you don’t “check your own weather”).
Creating a Safe Home Environment: Because no child wants to grow up dodging Legos, stress, or awkward family tension.
Helping a Child Who Has Experienced Bad Things: Charity’s house lunch, for example, isn’t the worst—but the principle applies.
Parenting Your Child’s Education: Because sending them to school isn’t enough. You need to show up for their learning journey too.
Raising a Child with Special Needs: Dr. Muriungi provides tools to navigate this journey with love and understanding.
Striking a Balance Between Career and Parenting: Remember, if you’re overworking, the mwiko discipline baton might just get passed to you (figuratively, of course).

This book is for every parent who’s ever wondered, Am I doing this right? It’s for the moms and dads who want to mentor their children, not just manage them. And trust me, after reading this, you’ll feel a little less alone and a lot more equipped for the parenting adventure.

So, grab your copy and get ready to discover timeless lessons that might just save you from the next “Charity’s house” incident. Parenting may not come with a weather forecast, but with a little guidance from this book, you’ll learn to read the skies like a pro.