Valentine’s Day? We’ll Pass, Thanks (Dr. Muthoni Omukhango)

Valentine’s Day? We’ll Pass, Thanks.

I love love. I love that people are in love. I love that love is in the air. What I don’t love? The unnecessary pressure to perform a public display of affection that rivals a Hollywood rom-com—on this one day.

Patrick Omukhango and I? We don’t celebrate our love on February 14th. Not because we don’t love each other (calm down, judgmental romantics ), but because—honestly—it’s just too much pressure to belong.

Take our neighbours, for example. The husband is whisking his wife away for a luxury shopping spree in Dubai. You read that right—Dubai. Not a trip to the local supermarket to pick out her favourite brand of tea. No, sir. He is out here competing with Sheikh Mansour, while I’m just hoping the avocado I bought yesterday will ripen before next week.

Then there are our church friends. The husband surprised his wife with a title deed as a token of love. A title deed! Meanwhile, Patrick and I are still debating who last went to the supermarket, and if that person should be responsible for taking the next shopping trip.

Nah, we can’t keep up. We have spent our entire lives trying to avoid the fast lane, and this is no exception.

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐖𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐮𝐭?

The problem with Valentine’s Day is the euphoria. Everyone is scrambling for the best deal, and the service industry? Oh, they do not disappoint!

Romantic dinner for two? It’s triple the price, but hey, they threw in a free rose and some mood lighting. Want to book a short getaway? Sorry, fully booked—unless, of course, you’re willing to trade in your kidneys to afford the last available room.

So today, for the sake of our continued love tomorrow, we are keeping things normal.

Patrick is probably in his office, editing photos from our recent reading mission in Uganda, zooming in on people’s foreheads to adjust the lighting.

Meanwhile, I’m out with the kids, following our regular school routine—swimming. Not at a fancy resort, just a good old normal pool where the only “romantic” thing happening is me reminding the kids that water and screaming do not mix.

And later? We shall have a normal dinner at home. No overpriced five-course meal with portions so small they make you question your life choices. Just a hearty, home-cooked meal. Probably rice and minji (peas). Maybe some chicken stew if my nanny collected our chicken delivery. But most importantly—no pressure!

𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐬? 𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐬.

This is us refusing to keep up with the Jonases, who are trying to keep up with the Odhiambos, who are desperately keeping up with the Kimosops, who are losing sleep over the fact that the Kariukis have taken it up a notch. And the Kariukis? Well, they’re trying to outdo a billionaire’s Instagram post. You see the problem?

So, to all the lovers out there—Happy Love Day! Not just on this one day, but every day of your married life. Because real love isn’t measured by grand gestures on February 14th. It’s in the small things—the everyday moments, the shared laughter, the inside jokes, and yes, even in the heated debates over whose turn it is to buy milk.

So, today, I have chosen to do something equally profound—read a book . And not just any book, but Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Because what better way to honour love than by actually understanding how it works?

Now, before you judge me for swapping flowers and chocolates for words on a page, let me explain.

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫?

Let me dive deep into the mysteries of love and respect. I have my cup of chocolate, a cozy blanket, and zero stress about overpriced life.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭

According to the book, men desire respect just as much as women crave love. Revolutionary, right? Imagine if all the Valentine’s Day energy went into actually understanding our spouses instead of trying to outdo the Odhiambos?

𝐒𝐨, 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦:

Instead of whispering sweet nothings, I’m learning that a simple “I appreciate you” could work wonders for a man’s soul.

Instead of worrying about what to wear for a fancy dinner, I’m discovering that women just want to be cherished and understood—without needing a PhD in romance.

Instead of Instagramming a bouquet of roses, I’m taking notes on how to keep love alive long after February 14th has passed.

And let’s be honest—flowers are nice, but nothing beats a marriage where love and respect actually work.

So, happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re out on a fancy date or, like me, deep in a book, may your love be real, your respect be mutual, and your title deeds be handed over on a normal Tuesday—not because of societal pressure, but because you genuinely felt like it.